Posted Monday, 5 November 2007 at 09:58
I was woken yesterday morning at an ungodly hour with a text message from a fellow MP. It read ' there's a picture of you in the Sunday Telegraph, the size of a North Korean dictator.'
I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, I feigned noncholance and indifference - it didn't work. I was at the Post Office within three minutes.
The size of the photo was a shock and frankly, a North Korean dictator would have looked so much more attractive and appealing.
The article was well written though and I did find the Bridget Jones comparison funny - not as funny or indeed as childish as some of my colleagues, according to the text messages I had to endure yesterday ( hysterical gentlemen, thank you.)..... But funny nontheless.
If I am the Westminster parallel to Bridget, does this mean a Mr Darcy is on the horizon? If Mr Darcy only has the photograph from the Sunday Telegraph by which to find me he wil be looking for a female MP who resembles a zombie with lank hair, glazed eyes, a grey fish face and an oversized hand growing out of her ear.
It's the state opening of Parliament tomorrow and the Queen's speech.
Every single day I walk into the House of Commons I have to pinch myself. I am stil overwhelmed and amazed that I am here. It is such an honour and a privilege, which is brought home to me even more so on the day of the state opening.
Some of the older female MPs do the full monty in reverse. They go the whole hat and gloves hog .Why would you want to wear a hat and gloves in the chamber? The roof doesn't leak and it's not cold. Last time I asked in the nicest possible way, why were they wearing a hat indoors? I was treated to a collective look from a row of bobbing straw creations, which was obviously meant to wither me into an old crone. I shan't ask again. If my Mr Darcy is walking around Westminster looking for me the crone thing might put him off.
I will be in my usual business suit and when all the traditional pomp and circumstance, which I love including the mutterings offside from Denis Skinner, are over it will be back to work, hatless!
I have a message for Bedford Mayor Frank Branston. There really is no need for you to drive to Woburn, seek out a local resident (ex-employee of yours and a new friend to me) pretend you're in Woburn because you have an appointment with me and ask him to show you which house is mine!!!
Let me know when you're coming, I'll put the kettle on, bake a cake and give you a guided tour!
Nadine Dorries MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
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