The Blog of
Nadine Dorries
The Worst Whip!
Posted Friday, 9 March 2007 at 15:36

I have the worst Whip in the House of Commons - it’s not that he’s not nice; it’s just that he’s everywhere. If I walk into the tea room or the chamber or the Members' lobby, there he is, as though lying in wait – he always greets me with – "ahha, just who I’ve been looking for" and I always reply in startled surprise, "really!" If I go into the library to read or use the computers he always walks past within minutes of my sitting down.

I have, on occasion, when coming out of the main library doors, seen him heading out of the Whips' office, so I exit stage left, straight up the corridor, into the inner waiting hall, turn right into central lobby and then right again into Members' lobby, having, via a circuitous route, avoided him.

I attempted to deploy this tactic the other day, but I wasn’t quick enough - he caught sight of me and shouted "stop right there, don’t move". Now, given that he has never seen me deploy this tactic before, how did he know what I was doing? Time to find a new corridor – or a new whip! He is lovely really, but do you remember the Nike advert with the little Nike boy who kept on popping up everywhere – that’s my Whip, everywhere.

I am so sorry Jack Straw MP wasn’t at Business Questions yesterday, as I wanted to ask him this. He worked on the new Afghanistan and Iraq constitutions. According to those constitutions, which I believe Mr Straw heavily influenced if not wrote, each government is required to have, as a statutory obligation, a minimum of 25% women MPs. This is the reason why the Afghan and Iraqi governments have more women MPs than we do in Westminster.

Given that MPs voted for a 100% elected House of Lords on Wednesday, will the same principle apply here? Nice one Jack.

Meetings at the council offices and surgeries today. I won’t be able to blog over the weekend as I still have no broadband. Thanks bt@whitehall - I have only been waiting a month.

Anon said:
Responded: Friday, 9 March 2007
Nadine, you must name names. Who is this lucky man?
anonymous said:
Responded: Friday, 9 March 2007
Do you support the notion of gender quotas then?
Nadine said:
Responded: Friday, 9 March 2007
Not at all!! Never, I just making the point that Mr Staw may have dug himself a hole here!! Big shovel anyone?
Katie said:
Responded: Sunday, 11 March 2007
Let's all hope that 'Mr.Whip' is there when your out in the early hours dog walking and some drunken youths spy you, as happened to me, only I did not have a knight in shinning armour to come to my assistance.Please don't be too complacent about your personnal safety.
John said:
Responded: Sunday, 11 March 2007
DEJA VU,never mind your Mr Whippy.I switch the radio on. Who's on? Nadine, I start to read the Friday local paper. Who's in it? Nadine. I read the Sunday freeby, who's in it? Yes you've guessed...Nadine. Unlike you, Nadine and the Whip, I don't mind. At least I have an MP who gets stuck in and fights our corner,I want her to be everywhere. Disturbingly,as opposites attract, another local L****r MP appears in both papers a hare's breath away from our Nadine,each occassion with a senior cohort. I do not believe the closeness of these items to be of coincidence. Nadine seems to attract 'the big guns' of Labour as moths to a bright flame.First Straw and now it seems both Blears and Brown want a piece of the action, but at least Nadine remains on top.
Anonymous said:
Responded: Sunday, 11 March 2007
Ah, but if BT pull the plug on you, you won't be able to blog about how bad their service is... If you posted a comment saying they were bloody wonderful you might get somewhere ! Or not..
Jane said:
Responded: Monday, 12 March 2007
I can only compare Straw and Labour to bad sex. Plently of sweet nothings whispered, not a lot of passion, none of the relevant points raised.With each new move a lot of fumbling, no imagination,same position and over in a couple of minutes.Even the man on top doesn't know when to get off. I'm left frustrated and usually have to pay through the nose for it. At least your being chased by a whip!
James said:
Responded: Monday, 12 March 2007
I saw them pictures as well John. Brown looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Given that Gordon Brown is snapped with his mouth wide open perhaps Nadine could offer a tenner for the best balloon caption?
John said:
Responded: Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Nadine you can pose your question to Jack online as, according to 10 Downing St website he will be online at 14:30 tomorrow, 14th March.
Contact Nadine
Nadine Dorries MP
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA
via e-mail at:
or Telephone on 020 7219 5928

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