I attended the Beds & Hunts NFU Annual Ball on Friday evening and sat next to James, a farmer.

He was as stereotypical a farmer as you can get, both in accent and style.

He was a Herriot with attitude!

His directness and stories about his day to day life made me laugh all night.

All the farmers were great fun and dedicated lovers of the land.

The main course was Pork - James said this was a real treat for me as "they was never allowed it before on account of the previous Chairman sayin as 'ow it would get stuck in the ladies’ teeth!"

He gave me a verbal tour around his farm and house, including the room where "the trousers father was wearing the day he came 'ome from the war was still 'angin because there don't seem no point in movin 'em".

James told me about the big birthday party he was planning to have at the house shortly.

I asked him was he using caterers - "Caterers?" He threw back at me. No, we don't use caterers, "they wouldn't know where to start with the big beast we as 'angin."

Anyway James, I thoroughly enjoyed your company and I have made the enquiries you asked me to at DEFRA.

The answer is no - Viagra will do nothing to help with your bulls.

Not unless you give them 96 tablets each anyway.

As I left at 11pm I heard Charlie Porter, the Chairman, shout to the bar tender to ask him what time the bar closed.

"Sunday night" came back the reply. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they were still there!